Imel

Dear Imel wherever you are,

Do you remember me? We have ever met, years ago. When you don’t even know how to say “mama”, “papa”, “brother”, “sister” or even “banana”. I remember you, because your photo always on my room, over there, beside the Japanese girl I paint years ago after I met you, I guess. I don’t know why I put your photo there, but I just don’t want to move it. I don’t always remember you, I’m sorry. But I really can’t forget you. How can I forget you?

Sometimes I wish you were here, just like your older sister and brother. I know it’s stupid thing to wish, but everytime I remember you, I can’t wish another thing to wish. Do you know how much I miss you? I know, I can’t come to you with thousand tears just to say such thing like I do miss you and I do love you. I am not  even sure that you’ll understand my words. Will you believe me? Oh God, I hope God let you to read and understand my letter, someday. Yes someday, perhaps when the tear is not so painful as it should be.

Mom said that you just like me, your face. Then I was laughing at the truth that I never realize it. I don’t even know why I’m Dika and you’re Imel. It would be nice if only I could speak to you everyday, and perhaps shout to something bad you do during the day. Mom always does it to me, not to make me feel I’m so guilty, but to make me realize that some things have to be done properly. I never hate her. I wish you never hate her too.

I’m dreaming to the day we finally meet again. But before that, I need to take care many things here, just to show the world that I’m ready enough to leave it someday, just to show that I’m strong enough to face whatever the world gives me day by day, just to show those people that I’m good enough to be a big sister not just for a day. Do you feel those words are bittersweet and sweet at the same time? Because in the end of this letter, I feel nothing. I can’t believe that now I feel empty. Perhaps I really miss you like a bird misses its wings. God bless you, sister.

from a 22 years old girl who always prays for you everytime she remembers you