#MoveOnTrip (?)

I broke up again! Wtf it's like I have no idea how come I broke up with two guys in just a year, I used to have long lasting relationship, eh?

Hahaha, that's the only my stupid thought and (or?) question on my head in that messy day. Someone who just broke up, hurt person she ever loved by acting like "I know it's not working", left and be left by the sweet memories or whatever, CAN'T think well, right?

The best (or the worst?) part was it's not only me who just broke up! My best friend too! And we seemed like supporting each other to forget the messy day. It was a holiday. We stucked and trapped in our boredom, nothing-to-do-ness, and common family gathering in lebaran that year when we kept chitchating in the messages like ...

"I'm bored."

"Me too."

"Need to go somewhere. Bali? :("

I remembered my Dad who was in his duty traveling from Jakarta to Bali for several weeks that time.

"Let's go to Bali! We can come back home with my Dad by car."

And blablabla blablabla~

I phoned my Dad, asking his permission if only we can go to Bali or go back home together so we can arrange such an itinerary asap. My friend asked her parents permission, she said that we would go to Bali with my Dad. We also made appointment with my friend who lived in Bali. We thought that it would be a nice escape to get some new refreshments for our mind. Haha!

I don't remember what made us decided to leave only five days after the idea coming. It was almost midnight on Wednesday and we haven't got a plane or bus tickets. For we payed all the traveling cost by ourselves, we had no money to buy the plane ticket. Fortunately, our friend's relative knew someone who could booked us two bus tickets to Bali in the next day. Omg, we had not packed our stuffs. :|

On Thursday at 1 pm, we were just two little girls with two suitcases; small one and the medium one, who did the first trip without parents or holiday travel package. When my ex bf looked for me for apologize or whatever he wanted, I said "I want to move..". Now I realized that my sentence enigmatically contained two meanings, the origin of move and move on. Hahaha. Bali was my first move on trip, I guess. 

*I'm smilling awkwardly when writing this story. Damn!*

My friend, Icha, woke me up in the midnight. "Look at the waves!"

I looked outside and realized that our bus were already in the basement of a ship crossing Bali strain. The waves (and its sound) was kinda terrible, it's like so close to us even when we officially trapped in the bus. When we arrived in Gilimanuk, Icha's parents called her and told that there was a hurricane in Bali strain.

Having awkwardly jet (or ship?) lag by the hurricane couldn't replace our happiness for breathing the Bali's air. I don't know whether it's only me or both of us who kept doing inhale exhale yoga breathing that time :D

We were going to our friends house in Loloan Timur, Negare. He was Fahmi, a friend from Bali who studied in Jogja. He has Bugis family who live in Bali, so they don't speak Bali language but Bugis. The folks in Loloan Timur, Negare, mostly work as a fisherman. Most of them are Muslim, not Hindus. Fahmi and his cousin escorted us to visited a pura and a quay near his house. The wooden colorful ships were beautiflly arranged in that quay. Unfortunately, we didn't take pictures. 

Fahmi's family were very welcomed. His mother cooked us super delicious lunch. It's not bad to stay there actually, but then we realized something. The distance of Negare to Denpasar is about two hours driving, or three hours riding! How can we didn't check a map before decided to stay in Negare? How can we had no map before we come to Bali?! Hooooow! Hahaha, the stupidity of our sudden idea of holiday in Bali became clearer. Lol. Remember this guys..

Rule #1 : AT LEAST CHECK A MAP BEFORE TRAVELING!

***

I phoned my Mom to ask the address of my relatives in Denpasar. It's kinda difficult to convince Fahmi and his family that we'd better to stay in my relative's house, but then Fahmi and Ali agreed to escort us to Denpasar by motorcyle. It's impossible to bring all the suitcases, so we rearranged our stuffs, moved it to the small suitcase, and left the big one in Fahmi's house. We'll gonna take it when we back home.

Rule #2 : Don't bring too much stuffs when you are traveling. 

The weather. The weather so sucked in September. Our trip to Denpasar was stopped by heavy rain several times. Okay, that's bad. We went at 2 pm, and just found my relative's house near Tiara Dewata mall at 8 pm. I knew it's kinda shocking, but we had no choice beside staying there, at least for a moment. Fahmi and Ali stayed in their relative's house near Denpasar before went back to Negare. Big thanks for them who had escorted us so far. I know they must be tired of that long riding trip.

***

Eyang Sri's house is in the middle of the town, in Letda Reta street. It's a family house, a multi dimentional house. Eyang Sri and her husband are Christian, one of their children is Muslim, one another is Hindus, and the rest are also Christian. I love to stay here, they show me that diffecence is not a matter. They always watch morning khotbah in one of tv shows, even they remind us to pray in the morning. They always play Christian song in the evening like haleluyah song or something, and they don't eat meat to appreciate one of family members who is not allowed to eat meat-the Hindus tradition.

We had a funny memory about the last thing. I and Icha wondered why they never serve a meat in the dining table. "Let's buy meat in the mall, we can give it to them to be cooked. They will like it!" We bought meat and proudly gave it to Eyang Sri's family. "We don't eat meat, dear. My son and his wife are Hindus. So, meat is prohibited to be eaten for all family members." Then our proud faces became our awkward faces. I will remember this ...

Rule #3 : It's better to ask first than just wonder to decide something truly matter.

***

Bali has given me so much sweetness. I love its beaches, so  beautiful! The second day in Bali, I and Icha went to Kuta beach complex by taxi. It's about Rp. 50.000,00 for nine kilometres. Anw, there's almost no bus in Bali that time. People have used to get a taxi for transportation. When I asked the reason to my taxi driver, he said that it was their local policy from the government to save their income percapita. Bus is just too cheap for many foreign tourists who come to Bali. The only bus that can be used in Denpasar  is called komotra. It has its own rute, from the parking area of Kuta complex to Joger and around. I didn't check the price because we didn't use it, but I'm sure that it's cheaper than using taxi. Komotra is like mini bus, but without window.

There are three beaches in Kuta complex. It's Kuta beach, Legian beach, and Seminyak beach. Kuta is full of people sunbathing. There is a Tourist Information Centre in this area that provides you an important thing; a map! Don't forget to come before you start to walk around, haha. We dropped by my taxi driver in the crossroad near Kuta beach. He said that we could start our walk through the way in front of us. "Just go down this street, and you will blablabla..." There are a lot of shops and cafes through that street.  You can find also many branded shops here. I can't remember the name of the street, but you will easily find it when you come. In the right side of the street, about 400 metres from the crossroad, you can find Bali bomb monument. It's a monument to appreciate Bali bomb victims years ago. 

Beside Kuta, there is Legian beach which is looked more natural than Kuta. There are also some people sunbathing but not as much as in  Kuta beach. This beach is nice, even in the middle of the day. When walking through this beach, perhaps you will meet a tattoo-guy, who offer you to have temporary tattoo in your body only by paying two dollars. Or perhaps you will meet a tatto-guy who offer you extra money by accompanying a foreign tourist. Just kick this jerk! Hahaha, and for the last thing, perhaps, Bali has many things like this.

Rule #4 : Ignore everyone who want to introduce you to foreign guy. Wrong way. If you desperately want to know a foreign guy, it's better to have a healthier relationship than just a one night stand, eh? Imho.

Second day in Bali was the most tiring day! We walked around Kuta complex to Joger to buy some stuffs. Haha, Icha bought too much stuffs I guess. But it's okay! How can we skip the pleasure of shopping time? No way! :D

***

Third day in Bali. It was Sunday! Aunty Tari (Eyang Sri's daughter) and her husband wanted to back to Labuan Bajo, NTT. We sadly said goodbye and see you next time. We decided to explore Bali by motorcycle. Uncle Iwan, another Eyang Sri's son helped us to rent a red Mio Soul. You needed an identity card of Bali resident if you wan't to rent a motorcycle or car in Denpasar. Icha once reminded me that we were about in fight because of the motorcycle-thing in Bali. Both of us wanted to ride it! Hahaha! Icha was probably too scared if I rode the motorcycle, for my bad damn riding skill. And I guess, as I remember, I didn't want to let Icha riding the motorcycle all the time. She must be tired, and needed a rest! I don't remember how we solve the problem, but yes, Icha mostly rode the motorcycle but she let me rode it too in the uncrowded street. LOL.

Rule #5 : Share your thoughts to your travelmate.

We planned to go to Tanjung Benoa and Nusa Dua resort.  We went to internet cafe to print the map. I know it's stupid, haha. In reality, we didin't use the map at all. We focused on reading direction planks. In Bali, there are a  lot of direction planks that will keep you find the way to whatever tourism places you want to go to. Since we have no itinerary at all, we seemed like go show, riding our mio by reading direction planks that made us lost and strayed away. Hahaha! Our plan to go to Tanjung Benoa was dramatically changed to Pelabuhan Tanjung! Now I know why Dora the explorer keeps asking her MAP! :|

We finally succeed to go to Tanjung Benoa and Nusa dua resort. Those places are beautiful! I love the hot sun shines in Tanjung Benoa, and enjoying sunset in Nusa Dua. What a moment..

As an addition, we also visited a paunch (can't remember the name), Garuda Wisnu Kencana statue near Ngurah Rai airport, and hot sale planet surf event we found in By Pass street! Shopping again, lol

Rule #6 : Shopping will always be a happy-thing. Just be wise spending your money during traveling. :p

***

Fourth day, windy day we went to Sanur--the magical two colored sandy beach, Sukowati market, Ubud area, and Tapak Siring area. In Sukowati market, you will find a lot of Bali souvenirs. Better to bargain! I bought some cheap Bali shirts only for 15.000 IDR each. But if you can't bargain, don't expect to get the cheap prices there.. 

Frankly, beside found Goa Gajah Museum to be visited, we also found two others Museums; Rudana Museum and another Fine Art Gallery that caght our attention by its froggy statues in front. Those are worth enough perhaps. Our trip that day was fun. I still remember the way Bali folks who just prayed in Pura, in Ubud area, interacted each other. If you want to see the real Bali taste, go to Ubud! 

Rule #7 : Find as much as you can. 

Fifth day. We wanted to traveled farther, to Tanah Lot and Kresna-a souvenir store, and back again to Kuta complex and Joger. Last day to shop in Bali, it drove us crazy. Lol. Nothing much to be shared, we just spent our money and visited Tanah Lot to drink that magical pure plain water in the small island (or reef?) in the middle of the sea. Okay, it's not in the middle actually, just a bit farther that we need to walk crossing the sea water to get to the island (or reef?). We met two Japanese girls there. Just like us, they were traveling!

After enjoying last sunset in Bali, we went to Ubung bus station to book bus tickets for the next day. We decided not to wait my Dad till Friday, and we'll leave on Wednesday. Of course, we'll take the left suitcase in Fahmi's house first. We felt sad for saying goodbye to all people we met in Bali, but we have to. It's not (just) a move on trip. It was all fun packed in a week trip. It was our first (let's say) semi-backpaking trip. It was a trip that keeps me and definitely my friend, Icha, want to travel again, again, and again. We learnt and enjoyed many things in Bali. Experience, adventure, refreshment, even a posession. For me, it's nice to visit my relatives there and find a new way to explore places, though we skipped a lot places indeed. But that will be underlined as a reason to come back and finish my (or our) adventure there.

Rule #8 : Promise yourself to come back.

***

"Do you miss Bali? I miss Bali. :(" - a short message I recieved from my friend, today.

"It's more than two years. I miss Bali this much, then I wrote this story."

DUTCH : Design, Urban, Technology, Culture, Holticulture

When I think about the Netherlands and try to imagine the awesome things there, I found that this country is not only good in just one thing. The Netherlands is one of the successful countries in the world that can survive from many disasters, changing time, and modernism.

Let's draw it into some parts. 

1) Design

The Netherlands is a country of designers. We can see from many architectures in every corner of the country, starting from Amsterdam, Volendam, Rotterdam, etc. This country still keeps its old fashioned architectures when many of the citizens design a modern and unique design and concept for its living home. Dutch design also embodies innovation and creativity; the things to be inspired all over the world. 

Architecture in Amsterdam

2) Urban

Urban living in the Netherlands is rather different than urban living in the other countries in the world. Its capital city, Amsterdam, is the city of cycling. It's like the breathing art to be followed.

Cycling in Amsterdam

3) Technology

Dutch is known for its water technology. In the past, the only place to live in Netherlands were in the East and South area. More than 2/3 mainland of this country was prone to flooding. Dutch then innovated to make windmill and polders. It was the greatest discoveries to save and survive from the disaster they used to face that day. Now, the windmills and polders have been developed to many countries like USA, Belgium, France, etc.

Polder

Kinderdjik (Windmill)

4) Culture

In Netherlands, the culture is their cheese. To say that cheese is synonymous with Alkmaar is something of understatement. It's world famous for its cheese market, which is held every Friday between April and September. To be a country that keeps its culture is another dutch pioneering these days. 

Alkmaar traditional cheese market

5) Holticulture

Who don't know about Tulip? We used to think that Tulip is a flower from Netherlands. Actually, it isn't. Tulip is a flower from Turkey and Iran. So, how can the Netherlands today is known as the Tulip country? Well,  there is the biggest garden flower full of many variety of Tulip in the Netherlands. It's called Keukenhof. By holticulture technology in the Netherlands, now there are so many variety of Tulip. It was only orange, but now.. as far as the tourists who visit Keukenhof can see the garden of rainbow Tulip. Dutch horticultural industry is a global trendsetter supplying market all over the world.

Keukenhof

There are many surprising things in the Netherlands. The Netherlands has been a pioneer from those five sector; in design, urban, technology, culture, and also holticulture. For a developing country like Indonesia, it's not too late to run to be like Netherlands. It's a great refection to developing countries anyway.

references:

http://en.wikipedia.org/

http://www.hollandtrade.com/sector-information/creative-industries/?bstnum=3556
http://www.hollandtrade.com/sector-information/water/

http://www.godutch.com/

Fly me to the Mars

When I was young, there was a lesson that has caught my attention. I was in the 4th grade of elementary school when my teacher talked about the galaxy. Our galaxy, named Bima Sakti, is the result of a Big Bang tragedy million years ago. As all the things about space has turned to be my favorite, I started to study and remember as much as I’ve read in the books about it. I know about Mercury that will have -200°C in the night, or Jupiter; the biggest planet in the galaxy. From all space objects in this galaxy, Earth is the only planet to be lived for living creature because it has water and oxygen.

Galaxy

There are many researches about space. The developed countries like USA, Russia, EU, and Japan have tried to created technology to know the secret of the universe. The space exploration projects are developed years by years. It’s Apollo 11 that brought Neil Amstrong to the Moon in 20 July 1969. 

Neil Amstrong in the Moon

After the first step of human in the Moon, we constantly develop the technology to answer our curiousity. Human want to land their ship not only in the Moon. Carl Sagan is a scientist who made the Viking Lander probes which would land on Mars. 

Carl Sagan and this project, Viking Lander

Fifteen years after Carl Sagan passed away in 1996, a company from the Netherlands came to answer Carl’s-and probably many people-question about living in the Mars. Is it possible to move and live in the Red planet?

This company, named Mars One, has a mission to establish a human settlement on the planet Mars in 2023. Mars One was built in 2011 by Bas Lansdorp, an enterpreneur from Netherlands with his passion to science. He received support from scientists, engineers, businessmen and –women and aeropace companies from all over the world. 

Road Map of Mars One from 2013 - 2025

Marieke Wagensvel, a communication specialist of Mars One who graduated from Utrecht University said “The technology to travel to Mars and build a base are already available. We should not wait for politicians to decide if we want to go to Mars, we should look at ourselves and see what we can do to make it possible.”

Design Mars One for human settlement in 2023

This project is a one way travel to Mars. In 2013, there is a selection to choose  40 people who will be traveled to Mars in 2023 and four astronauts who will be traveled  there to prepare the human settlement on the Mars in 2014. They will send more astronauts per two years. The application was opened last April and will be end this June. There are more than 78.000 applications to this project. That's a huge number!

So, are you interested in applying to be the one who live in the Mars?

After all, the Netherlands is trying to show us their potential talent not just to be a pioneer in holticulture or creative industries, but also in the aerospace technology. Ten years from now, when we talk to Dutchmen, we will probably say “Hey, fly me to the Mars.”

references:

http://en.wikipedia.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_11
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viking_Lander#Viking_landers

http://applicants.mars-one.com/

http://www.godutch.com/

http://www.tempo.co/read/news/2013/04/22/061474940/Berminat-Tiket-untuk-Tinggal-di-Mars-Mulai-Dijual

Hujan

Aku adalah hujan yang dijatuhkan Tuhan dalam sosok yang mereka sebut gerimis. Diharapkannya aku menjadi rintik yang tahu diri, kapan harus menangis, kapan harus berlaku sadis. Tidak pernah ditengoknya aku di tanah surga kering yang kini telah basah olehku ini. Dibiarkannya saja aku berlaku mengikuti naluriku, logikaku, egoku, nafsuku, tanpa ragu.

Aku adalah hujan yang diharap-harapkan datang saat matahari dan manusia sama-sama berlaku terlalu naif. Mereka pikir mereka lah yang berhak mengatur rintikku yang tak kunjung datang. Tidakkah mereka tahu kalau aku tidak pernah bosan melihat rengekan?

Aku adalah hujan yang datang kepagian. Tidak pernah aku menutup telingaku meski banyak diantara mereka mengutukku tak jemu. Tidak sedikitpun aku menyesal telah diturunkan Tuhan.

Aku adalah hujan yang selalu engkau perhatikan dari jendela kamarmu. Kau nikmati setiap tetes rintikku dari kejauhan. Kau pandang aku berjam-jam tanpa mengeluh seperti manusia kebanyakan. Kau ciumi wangi tanah basah yang telah aku pesonakan. Hanya enggan kau sentuh karena derasnya rintik yang telah kutarikan.

Aku adalah hujan yang mereka sebut bandang. Berkawan dengan kesombongan. Caci aku, silakan. Bukan salahku jika merusakkan rumah dan tanaman di pekarangan. Ingat dulu siapa yang membuang berkotak-kotak kenangan di pinggir jalan.

Aku adalah hujan yang mengalir di pelupuk matamu, datang karena penyesalan. Aku tidak membencimu, hanya tidak mau lagi mengacuhkanmu tanpa segan. Aku jahat? Memang.

Aku adalah hujan. Yang lebih suka menangis dalam diam.

Half-day in Jakarta

Have you ever imagined to visit Jakarta, the famous capital very crowded  city in Indonesia, less than 24 hours? If you are a student who lives in a small city like me, the answer is probably nooo. But something’s different and the story changed last year. I won a business report writing competition by famous Japan companies that gave me a chance to attend the final contest in Japan. (Whatta lucky me!) It means I need a visa before my departure, in the middle of December. For Indonesian, we can apply Japan visa in the Japan embassy that are located in some big cities in Indonesia like Medan, Jakarta, Surabaya, Makassar, and Denpasar. And for me as Yogyakartan, I need to apply my visa in Jakarta. The process of making visa is about four days office hours. I made a business visa for temporary visit. It can be used for three months and maximum days of visit is 15 days. All my needs  were already prepared by the committee. I just needed to print out my invitation and flight ticket, complete my data in registration form, and meet the committee in Jakarta to give me the rest, like hotel, company, and guarantor data. If you want to apply Japan visa, you can check here.

I never come to Jakarta by train and without parents, it’s kinda scared me somehow. Before came there, I asked the committee to give me contact number of other participant from Yogyakarta who also needs to make Japan visa in Jakarta. His name is Azhar. He helped me to look for the train tickets and complete the registration form. It was Monday afternoon, and we arranged meeting in the railway station at 8 pm. Actually my train was at 9 pm, and I was already in the station since 7.30 pm. My parents was still in my grandpa’s house, so I was alone. After half hour waiting, my friend came with his parents, his gf, small suitcase and also a fully back pack. It’s kinda awkward because I only brought my back pack. Hahaha :|

The journey was about 8 hours something. We arrived in Gambir railway station at about 4 am. Then we looked for a rest room  and mosque to pray. We spent at least an hour to have very early breakfast in Hoka-hoka bento. Arghh, I hate ebi katsu! The meeting with Mr. Edo, the committee of the company was in McDonals Sarinah. We chose to go there by busway. Actually that’s my idea. Just want to see the different between TransJogja and TransJakarta. Anyway, Gambir is not like what I imagine, not that bad. At least, if you want to transfer from Gambir to Soetta airport, you don’t need to be too confuse. You can use taxi or Damri bus (about 25.000-35.000 IDR). It’s also near Monas, and harmony busway station. But still, just be careful to always pay attention in your bag.

Busway in Jakarta is bigger than in Jogja and it has its line. The busway that drove us to Sarinah is a female driver. I never meet female busway driver in my city. Everyone seemed to hurry that morning. There were beautiful ladies officer, students, tidy workers, etc. Luckily, we only needed less than 30 minutes to Sarinah. We’re going to upstair and ordered drinks, going to rest room to change clothes, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Hahaha, the time of waiting always seems longer than it’s supposed to be, doesn’t it?

Mr Edo is a committee who helped the participants to prepare all things they need. He has graduated from Waseda Univ and now became a freelancer for Japanese companies when they wanted to hold an event in Indonesia. He came at about 9 am then explained us many things we should know. Me and my friend then walked to Japan embassy, leaving our bags with Mr Edo. It’s only took 10 minutes walk, so close. It’s not like what I’ve ever imagined to apply for Japan visa, not that difficult. We just need to explain our purpose to go, leave the documents, and keep the resi number. The visa will be done in Friday. I asked the officer if only my friend can take my passport. She said that’s okay, as long as the resi number is brought by my friend. The problem solved! I don’t need to come back on Friday, leaving my campus and my students to take the passport. Really thank to my friend for that!

We were going back to McD Sarinah, having chit-chat with Mr. Edo and waiting for the lunch time. Me and my friend went to FX mall, in Fish and Co. He had an appointment with his friend there. Her name is Mizuo-san, a Japanese girl who works in Japan embassy. She can also speak Indonesian, but never leaves her dialect. Japanese are awesome. Most of Japanese I’ve ever met never leave their dialect.

After having lunch with Mizuo-san, my mom called me and ask me to visit one of her friend in Pancoran. My friend escorted me to the nearest busway station, he would come back to Sarinah and waited his cousin to pick him up. He’d stay there for a week. And my solo trip began! Hahaha, sorry kinda hyperbolic :p

In the busway station, I ask a man how to get to Bidakara building in Pancoran. He expalined me blablablabla, because kinda confuse I just took the very beginning busway that came. It was a grey busway. The condectur told me to stop in Pluit to transfer to another busway. I was so lazy to be confused by busway line, so I preferd to take a taxi. Hahaha I only need to pay 8800 IDR. So cheap! It means I only spent less than 15.000 IDR from Sarinah to Pancoran. In Bidakara building, I met Mr. Heru. He worked for big telecommunication company in Indonesia and Pancasila Univ as a lecturer. We talked a lot about the people and condition of Jakartan, also my visa application. He supposed to escort me to Pasar Senen railway station at about 6 pm. Unfortunately he needed to accompany lord mayor that time. He asked me to take a taxi. It started to drizzle, and I was nearly hopeless to get a taxi. My train would depart at 7.30 p.m, and it was 6.30 pm I still looked for a transportation to get there. Finally I gave up and walked to the who we called ‘ojek motor’ (that I ignored before), and started to bargain the cost to go to Pasar Senen. I needed to pay 40.000 IDR. The man who escorted me to the railway station was friendly. He still tried to make me not to be panic even when we trapped in the traffic jam on the way to the station. At least that was a new experience, lol.

I arrived in Pasar Senen railway station and waited to my train. It was soo messy railway station. There are a lot of people, talking in the high volume (if we can’t say shouting), sitting on the floor, etc. Well, it is a railway station for economy and business class. I have a business train ticket (it was only 140.000 IDR). It’s more economical absolutely. And the point is, I want to feel how to travel with the business train. I’ll never regret this experience. I had a chit chat with an old woman who wanted to go to Jogja by economy train (35.000 IDR, see? Sooo cheap!)

When the train started to walk, it was my time for sightseeing outside the window. I saw a very bad view, that some family live under the fly over, build their home there. I have no idea why they chose to stay in that condition. If they are people from outside Jakarta, it’s better for them to come back to their village, their small town, to start a new life, to live better. Unemployment and poverty in Indonesia is so bad problem but it’s still can be repaired somehow. I know, there are a lot of arguments that can break my point of view. Okay let’s move.. Overall, I only spent half day in Jakarta. It was so yah, unpredictable day. My trip to Jakarta that time really gave me something, new experience, new friend, new knowledge, and new thought. But it was soo tiring! No good sleep in the business train! Every time the train stopped in the railway station along the journey, there were many merchantmen asked the passengers to buy their stuffs or food. Hahahaha whatta day.

See you for another half-day trip, hey Jakarta!

(Not to be) Fake or Nothing at All

Be careful with your words. Once it sounds cynical, it will make two perspektives; hiding or showing the true you.

As I remember, I tweeted those words because at that time, I was in very bad mood and really need to share and talk with someone. Lucky I live in an era where twitter has been found by Jack and his friends. Lucky I live in an era where I don’t need to be so damn bored all the time for having nothing to do.

One of my friends retweeted and replied that with only four words “showing the true you”. Am I a cynical person? Oh yes I am, for heaven’s sake. People don’t even know what I’ve faced for my more than twenty years for being such a cynical person like this. Have you ever felt like it’s always you to be blamed for many things you’ve never done? Have you ever felt like it’s always you who are betrayed by the person you’ve believed? Have you ever felt the worst feeling you’ve ever imagined in your life? Don’t ask me, you’ll never understand.

As I said, a ‘cynical’ form is just a talent from many whatsoever things. Let’s call it as a shell. When people think that they are too weak to face this cruel world, they unconsciously make a shell as a protection to avoid the bad things that maybe happen. Ironically, they don’t even know it will save their life or make it worse. Too bad? Yes, but it truly happen. When people have faced the bad things in their past, they unconsciously make a shell too. Time will heal the wounds, but there’s always scar left behind. Traumatic feeling and too much fear.

Some people may be good enough in hiding something from someone somehow. But have you ever thought the reason why? Some people are too scared to be known for their weakness. Some people are too scared to be laughed at the things they have known. Some people are too scared to be broken somehow. Some people are sometimes too blind to know there are always somebody care.

It’s not about how good you are in measuring and judging people around you. It’s not about how good you will be for having such a honest thought to be shared to those whom you think about. People are hiding the true them because some reasons you might never think before.. If hiding the true them is always called as fake thing, so what do you think this life should be?

Some people probably hold back their tears and pretending to be okay, just to give themselves such a belief that everything will be (really) okay somehow. Some people are pretending to be fine all the time just to hide their sadness. Some people probably say, “I’m so f*cking happy” when their hearts keep telling such words like “Frankly, I’m so faking happy..” Bittersweet truth.

Overall, (for me) fake can be considered as two things again; the bad and the good one. It will be good as you know its limitation and you know exactly why you are acting that fake, as long as it will never hurt people around you. It will be bad if you use it to show how nice you are to somebody else when you’re not.

For some reasons, I keep talking to myself that this life is not always about me, me, and me. But sometimes I forget to manage the thoughts in my head in the way I live, like how I forget to count my blessings when I’m in despair and doubts. When I asked my friends about the way he chooses his way of living; keep pretending he doesn’t know (about the fake around him) or go acting as fake as them, he said something that finally opened my eyes.

“I’ve spent my last year faking, won't do it for the up comings. At least I know what to say on faking person, like this moment.”

Well, I'm probably the best faking person, ever. But I still thought that he forgot to answer my truly question. Thank you for reminding me anyway.. Actually I haven’t known exactly whether he thought I’m one of that faking people or it's just the words for our conversation before. It’s kinda hurting to know how bad you look like to somebody else. I won’t pretending I don’t care, at least I’m not that fake.

In the end.. this life is still about (not to be) fake or nothing at all, isn’t it?

Book: The History of Love by Nicole Krauss

Kadang aku suka berkunjung sendirian ke perpustakaan kota, tanpa tujuan. Atau lebih tepatnya, hanya sekedar untuk menghabiskan waktu. Aku memang tidak mempunyai banyak waktu, tapi aku tidak mau terlalu sering membuangnya dengan kegiatan yang itu-itu. Suatu siang, aku bisa duduk sendirian hampir dua jam di bangku taman perpustakaan kota hanya dengan layar laptop di depanku, atau aku bisa duduk di antara banyak orang yang tidak aku kenal di dalam ruang perpustakaan kota yang sempit demi membaca buku psikologi manusia yang tidak terlalu mudah aku mengerti. Di suatu siang yang lain, aku akan mampir ke perpustakaan kota lalu memilih dan meminjam buku sastra apa saja dengan tergesa.

Hari itu aku meminjam dua buku, The old man and the sea oleh Ernest Hemingway dan The History of Love oleh Nicole Krauss. Aku memang orang sastra, lebih tepatnya orang yang berkuliah di jurusan sastra, tapi aku baru mengenal Ernest Hemingway semenjak aku menonton film tahun 2011 berjudul Midnight in Paris. Sebuah film tentang seorang penulis dan kerap terjebak di masa-masa kejayaan sasrawan di Paris. Mungkin aku akan membahasnya lain kali.

Tentang buku kedua, sebenarnya aku hanya asal saja. Aku tidak pernah mendengar nama Nicole Krauss sebelumnya. Awalnya aku hanya tertarik pada dua hal. Di sampul buku itu, tertulis shortlisted by Richard&Judy’s British Book awards 2006. Yang kedua, judul buku yang diketik dengan huruf Times New Roman yang mungkin bagi kebanyakan orang terlihat membosankan. Menurutku, kalau buku Nicole Krauss ini sampai masuk dalam nominasi British Book awards dan lagi di dalamnya memuat cerita tentang sesuatu yang belum juga mampu aku pahami, mungkin saja menarik.

Sesampainya di rumah, aku hanya membaca sinopsis di sampul belakang dan meletakkannya di meja belajar. Butuh waktu seminggu untuk mendiamkannya sebelum aku mulai meneliti buku ini. Bab pertama, tentang seorang lelaki tua bernama Leopold Gursky. Krauss menggunakan sudut pandang orang pertama untuk memulai ceritanya. Menempatkan kita di posisi si lelaki tua, yang memceritakan suatu masa dimana dia mencintai seorang wanita yang akhirnya terpisah saat si wanita pergi ke Amerika. Apa yang dilihat dan dirasakannya dahulu, dan apa yang dilihat dan dirasakannya sekarang. Sebuah cerita dengan alur maju-mundur yang dikemas dengan bahasa yang khas. Gursky menyusul ke Amerika dan akhirnya kecewa dengan kenyataan bahwa wanitanya sudah menikah dengan seorang pria lain belum lama setelah wanita itu melahirkan seorang anak laki-laki, anak Gursky. Selama lima tahun, Gursky yang terpaksa bersembunyi di hutan, memang dikabarkan sudah meninggal pada pembantaian orang-orang Yahudi di Polandia oleh Nazi. Sebuah cerita pahit yang dibungkus cantik dengan sejarah perang masa lalu. Tidak sedikit potongan sejarah yang Krauss ceritakan di novel ini, lebih-lebih masa perang dunia.

Bab kedua masih menggunakan sudut pandang orang pertama, tapi kali ini bukan Gursky, melainkan seorang anak hampir lima belas tahun bernama Alma. Sewaktu Alma lahir, oleh ibunya ia diberi nama menurut nama setiap gadis di buku pemberian ayahnya pada ibunya, judulnya The History of Love. Ayanhnya sudah meninggal. Ibunya adalah seorang wanita Inggris pintar yang telah memilih meninggalkan kuliahnya di Oxford demi hidup di Amerika dengan pria Israel yang dicintainya. Alma kini hanya tinggal dengan ibunya yang sekali-kali menerjemahkan buku, dan seorang adik laki-laki yang percaya bahwa dirinya adalah seorang Mesias.

Bab ketiga tentang seorang Zvi Littinoff, seseorang yang dipercaya telah mengarang buku The History of Love dalam bahasa Spanyol. Krauss kali ini meggunakan sudut pandang orang ketiga serba tahu. Menceritakan tentang bagaimana keseharian Zvi yang tidak pernah diketahui orang lain, bahkan istrinya sendiri. Zvi tinggal di Chili, dimana Zvi melarikan diri dari kota kelahirannya dan akhirnya bertemu wanita yang menjadi istrinya, Rosa.

Begitulah Krauss menulis, menggunakan tiga sudut yang berbeda. Pola yang sama diulang pada bab-bab seterusnya, meski Krauss sendiri tidak menamainya dengan bab, melainkan memberi judul setiap bab barunya. Misalnya, pada bab kelima dengan Alma sebagai aku, berjudul My father’s Camp. Pada bab-bab dimana Alma sebagai ‘aku’, Krauss tidak menulis sebuah cerita dengan alur maju-mundur seperti di bab-bab Leopold Gursky sebagai ‘aku’. Krauss hanya menulis poin-poin kemudian menjelaskannya dalam cerita-cerita singkat yang akan membuat kita berimajinasi sendiri tentang runtutan ceritanya sesuai yang kita kira.

Di setiap lembar, jika kita sabar, kita akan terus penasaran membalik halaman demi halamannya. Aku sendiri selesai membaca novel ini hanya dalam dua hari; membaca sampai tertidur di suatu malam dan meneruskannya dari siang keesokan harinya hingga larut malam, hingga lupa makan. Aku sendiri tipikal orang yang tidak suka mencuri-curi membaca lembar-lembar belakang saat membaca novel, dan karena novel ini sangat menarik (bagiku), aku tidak bisa berhenti membaca lanjutan ceritanya, bab demi bab.

Di setiap bab, kita akan menemukan fakta yang baru, yang mengajak kita menerka-nerka masa lalu para tokoh ceritanya. Misalnya, tentang nama wanita yang dicintai Leopold Gursky yan ternyata juga bernama Alma, atau tentang naskah yang ditulis Gurski dalam bahasa Yiddish yang telah hilang puluhan tahun lalu yang kembali lagi ke tangannya dalam bahasa Inggris. Ataupun tentang siapa sebenarnya Zvi dan bagaimana novel berbahasa Spanyol The History of Love bisa berada di tangan Charlotte Singer, ibu Alma yang akhirnya menginspirasinya.

Pada akhirnya, cerita ini memang tidak terlalu menjelaskan dengan gamblang tentang sejarah cinta maupun penciptaannya (seperti yang sebelumnya terbayangkan), tetapi di balik cerita kompleks tentang kehidupan perang hingga ke modern para imigran, penulis, penerjemah, bahkan anak kecil yangada di dalam novel ini dapat dikatakan sebagai tokoh-tokoh yang hidup. Krauss seolah memberi mereka jiwa, yang tidak hanya mentranfer cerita dan ide-ide yang termuat dalam alurnya, tetapi juga makna dibalik bahasanya. Seperti sebuah judul naskah Leopold Gursky yang dikirimkan kepada anaknya Isaac Moritz yang pada novel ini merupakan seorang penulis yang akhirnya meninggal di usianya yang ke lima puluh; Words for Everything untuk menggantikan Launghing & Crying & Writing & Waiting.

*Novel The History of Love ini adalah novel terbitan tahun 2005 dan ternyata telah diterjemahkan ke lebih dari dua puluh lima bahasa. Penulisnya, Nicole Krauss yang kini sudah berusia sekitar 39 tahun masih tinggal di Brooklyn, New York. Novel pertamanya, Man Walks into a Room, dinominasikan untuk Los Angeles Times Book Award.

**ditulis di sela waktu pembuatan presentasi sidang kelulusan, bukan karena sangat bosan, tetapi sangat ingin menuliskan yang melayang-layang di kepala. Sebuah bentuk kekaguman pada seorang penulis yang baru dikenal. (aduh, hiperbolanya keluar!)

Parents

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

I'm not gonna make a touchy letter I guess. Well, you know that I have a syndrome called I-have-no-idea-to-show-how-much-I-love-you. 

Sometimes I hate you both for the things you've done, the things you've said, and the things you've shown to me. But the more I (try to) hate you, the more I realize that I do love you. It's just too complicated to be explained. Now I'm not going to blame you both for many things I should face, not anymore.

I'm sorry for every fault you both thought I've done. I'm sorry for screwed up many things. I'm sorry for my egoism, my careless, my arrogance, and everything..

Dear Mom, thank you for trusting me, forgiving me, and always be the best for me. You know, I just want to make you happy.

Dear Dad, thank you for giving me chances to do many things in my way though you're not always supporting me. You know, I just want to make you proud of me.

Promise me, you will always give me those never failing smiles even when I don't see. You both, I love you.

your (always little) girl

Terbuang

Untuk si pemilik bibir lembab yang hangat,

Ah kamu, apa kabar sekarang? Sepertinya sudah mendapatkan aku yang baru. Jujur, aku cemburu. Iya memang, terserah kalau anggapanmu berlebihan.

Aku ingat saat kita masih sering bersama dulu. Aku yang selalu menemani pagimu yang berantakan. Kadang kamu bertanya padaku tentang minuman apa yang harus kamu buat. Aku hanya bisa terkekeh dengan pertanyaan bodohmu yang itu-itu. Tentukan saja sesuai moodmu, batinku. Iya, toh kamu selalu bertindak sesuai moodmu, jadi untuk apa bertanya padaku?

Suatu pagi, kamu akan minum susu milo hangat tanpa ekstra gula. Katamu, kamu tidak mau terserang diabetes di usia 30an. Di pagi yang lain, kamu akan minum kopi hazelnut kesukaanmu, dan menyalahkanku karena rasanya yang palsu. Aku perhatikan, akhir-akhir ini kamu mulai sering meminum green tea latte yang sudah menjadi favoritmu yang baru. Untuk hal yang kamu suka saja, kamu tidak pernah konsisten ya? Lalu bagaimana perasaanmu terhadapku?

Aku juga ingat, aku yang dulu selalu menemani malam-malammu yang panjang dan membosankan. Kalau kamu sehabis membeli banyak cemilan, kamu akan mengajakku menikmati kopi dicampur banyak sekali susu bubuk vanila. Kamu bilang, itu resep rahasia. agar rasa kopinya tidak terlalu pahit disesap seperti kenangan yang enggan dilupakan.

Dulu aku tidak mengerti maksud perkataanmu. Tapi sejak kamu meninggalkanku, aku jadi tahu. Pantas saja, matamu dulu sering berkaca-kaca kalau sehabis menata kotak-kotak di kamar kesayanganmu, meski ada aku. Ada apa sih di kotak itu? Apa itu kotak kenanganmu? syang sekali kamu tidak pernah menunjukkannya padaku.

Aku sekarang terbuang, dan merasa dicampakkan. Pernah tidak, sekali saja kamu memikirkanku? Ini tidak adil. Habis manis, sepah dibuang. Begitu kah kamu memperlakukan kekasih-kekasihmu yang dulu? Kalau iya, tunggu saja yang namanya karma. Kamu tidak percaya kalau karma itu ada, tapi aku percaya.

Aku rindu bibirmu yang lembab dan hangat. Aku rindu saat bibir-bibir kita bertemu kala kamu sedang menikmati minumanmu. Aku tidak keberatan menampung milo hangat yang selalu kamu tegak dengan semangat, ataupun green tea latte yang selalu lama sekali kamu habiskan tanpa sebab. Bahkan, aku tidak akan keberatan jika menemanimu minum kopi pagi buta yang pahit kalau kamu sedang kehabisan susu bubuk vanilla, meski aku sangat tidak menyukainya. Biar saja aku mengecap pahit kopi panas berlama-lama, asal bisa merasakan bibirmu yang manis sebentar saja. Aku hanya ingin bersamamu lagi. Bibirku juga ingin dikecup lagi.

dariku, cangkir kesayangan yang tidak sengaja kamu pecahkan

Hey Kalian!

Untuk kalian, hadiah dari Tuhan yang tak akan tergantikan @nchaga, @namonz, @bigbrobo,

Aku sedikit canggung menulis surat (cinta) ini dalam bahasa Indonesia (kepada kalian). Ingatkah kalian tentang surat permintaan maaf atas pengabaianku berbulan-bulan kala hatiku sedang patah-patahnya, bertahun yang lalu? Aku menulis panjang (sekali) dalam bahasa Inggris, berharap agar kalian tidak terlalu menganggapku menulis sok manis. Hahaha, maaf teman-teman, aku sudah mencoba menulis ini dalam bahasa sehari-hari kita yang lebih berisik dari biasanya, tapi (sepertinya) gagal :p

Abaikan saja cara menulisku yang sok puitis ini ya. Cukup baca saja. Hahaha.

Begini, selama ini aku selalu berusaha menjadi teman yang baik untuk kalian. Sebagai penebusan dosa atas ketidakpedulianku dulu saat aku sedang egois-egoisnya meratapi kemalanganku sendirian. Tidak hanya itu, tapi berteman dengan kalian sangatlah menyenangkan. Terimakasih karena selama ini sudah bertahan dengan aku yang skeptisan dan kata orang pendiam. Hanya kalian yang tahu kalau aku tidak seperti kata orang kebanyakan.

Halo Icha, kita sudah berteman lebih dari sepuluh tahun lho! Bukan waktu yang sebentar ya ternyata. Dulu kita saling berkenalan semasa masih berseragam putih biru. Kamu sudah tahu kalau aku hobi telatan dari dulu. Kamu sudah kenal kebiasaan anehku yang ini itu dari dulu. Bagaimana perasaanmu? Hihihi. Terimakasih ya, aku ingat sekali, aku pertama menangis di depan temanku kala itu; di depan kamu. Merasa bodoh rasanya, sekaligus merasa menjadi seutuhnya manusia setidaknya. Waktu menulis ini, kok mataku rasanya kelilipan debu ya.

Terimakasih sudah menjadi satu di antara beberapa orang yang masih saling menyemangati. Kamu teman yang baik, sahabat yang baik. Mau mendengarkan dan didengarkan. Hey! Setelah Bali dan Singapura, mungkin kita masih punya banyak tempat untuk dijelajahi bersama. Atau kalau pun tidak dijelajahi bersama, kita masih bisa saling mengingatkan tentang mimpi kita yang sama, keliling dunia. :D

Halo Nana! Maaf ya kalau aku yang unyu ini suka sok sibuk sendiri. Terimakasih karena kamu sering sekali mengingatkanku untuk makan. Ih pacarku (dulu) saja jarang. Hihihi. Aku tahu kalau kamu selalu prihatin dengan bentuk tubuhku yang dikutuk langsing ini. Aku baik-baik saja kok. Sekarang malah berat badanku terus bertambah tiap bulan. Entahlah.

Aku senang karena kamu selalu memaklumi kesibukanku yang kadang keterlaluan, dan masih mau benar-benar mencuri waktu di antaranya meski hanya untuk makan siang. Terimakasih sudah membagi cerita-ceritamu denganku. Jangan bosan bercerita ya. Dan jangan bosan aku ajak menyantap menu yang itu-itu saja. Oiya satu lagi, jangan pernah bilang tidak sebelum kamu mencoba. :D

Halo Runi, agaknya baru tadi kita bertemu yah. Hihihi, kita paling jarang bertemu sepertinya. Mungkin setelah menyelesaikan tugas akhirku aku akan lebih banyak membagi waktu untukmu juga. Akan merusuhmu agaknya. Aku senang, paling tidak kalau aku ingin mengobrol sastra dengan sahabatku, aku punya kamu. Aku sendiri tidak menyangka akan berkuliah di jurusan yang sama denganmu, padahal tiga tahunku di SMA sudah ku habiskan demi memikirkan fisika, kimia, dan matematika. Kita pernah menyesal pada pilihan ini bersama, tapi sekarang untuk apa. Sudah kita jalani, sudah seharusnya kita cintai. Ayo semangat! Setidaknya kita masih bisa berkuliah di jurusan yang sepertinya kita suka lagi nantinya. Yah, siapa tahu. :D

Masih ingat pesan yang kamu kirim dulu, tentang pemikiran tiba-tibamu yang ingin tinggal di luar negeri yang itu? Iya, mari kita berusaha meraih apapun impian kita. Kamu juga suka menulis, teruskan lah apa yang sudah kamu mulai dulu. Aku tidak keberatan membaca dan mengomentari skrip awal novelmu lagi. Mungkin nanti, entah kapan, akan aku tunjukkan juga milikku.

Hei kalian.. kalau kalian butuh didengarkan, jangan lupa ada telingaku yang selalu mau menampung segala keluhan. Kalau kalian butuh saran, jangan lupa ada suaraku yang selalu mau mengatakan kalimat-kalimat yang kaliah butuhkan. Kalau kalian sedang kesusahan, jangan lupa ada aku dan berbagilah. Aku tidak mau menjadi sahabat yang hanya dekat saat senang sedang melekat. Aku mau selalu ada di sisi kalian juga saat sedang dibutuhkan. Kalau kalian butuh pelukan, jangan lupa ada aku yang tipis ini yang selalu rela menjadi seolah semakin tipis demi memeluk kalian. *meski dalam kenyataannya kita jarang berpelukan kan* :) 

Kalau kalian butuh aku, tinggal bilang. Kalau sewaktu kalian memintanya dan aku sedang tidak bisa, tolong maklumi lah. Pasti akan aku ganti lain waktu dengan durasi hitungan dua kali. Satu lagi, kalau sekiranya nanti aku salah melangkah, tolong diingatkan, tolong ditampar biar sadar. Ayo, semangat yah demi apapun yang sedang menunggu kita di depan. Hmm, termasuk toga barangkali. :D

Aku bahagia memiliki kalian. Terimakasih telah menjadi sahabat yang baik bagiku. Terimakasih telah menjadi hadiah dari Tuhan yang tak tergantikan. Pokoknya aku sayang kalian. Aduh jadi malu ih waktu baca tulisan sendiri. Sudah ah, aku mau kabur.

Salam peluuuuk,

@tiaratirr

Fisika Dan Sastra

Kepada Si Fisika,

Atas nama fisika, kau mengatakan kau bahagia saat medan magnetmu dan aku bertemu di suatu titik berjarak nol berskala apa saja. Atas nama fisika, kau memaksaku menghitung massa hati yang berdebar saat tangan kita bertautan. Atas nama fisika, kau membuatku percaya bahwa E bukan hanya sama dengan mc², melainkan juga kau dan aku yang tanpa sekat.

Kau sudah banyak mengatasnamakan fisika demi cinta kita. Cinta kita? Mungkin kini bisa ku ralat dengan kata cintamu yang buta.

Kau sudah dibutakan dengan hitungan matematika dalam fisikamu yang gila. Seharusnya kau tahu kalau cintaku dulu bernama tak terhingga, sama seperti angka nol dibagi bilangan apapun yang kau kagumi dengan sangat. Iya, rumus dasar matematika yang selalu mengawali setiap kecintaanmu pada fisika. Kau pernah berkata bahwa cintamu akan bertahan lama, selama jarak bumi dan matahari dengan ukuran kecepatan cahaya yang tak terhitung bilangannya. Aku pun pernah percaya, selayaknya aku mengawasi stellarium menanti rasi bintang kejora menampakkan batang hidungnya.

Aku pernah meredakan egoku untuk sedikit memahami semua rumus fisikamu yang membingungkan. Logikamu mengajariku berpikir bahwa cinta adalah saat ketinggian hatiku selalu jatuh di hadapan gravitasi pesonamu. Dan memang benar, tidak dapat ku sangkal walau awalnya terasa tak masuk akal.

Atas nama sastra, aku berkata bahwa aku bahagia saat kau dan aku mempuisikan perasaan tanpa sela. Atas nama sastra, aku memaksamu memaknai peribahasa yang tiba-tiba terkata kala cinta sedang ranum-ranumnya. Atas nama sastra, aku membuatmu percaya bahwa kita akan selalu bersama meski perbedaan selalu melekat tak hanya saat saling bergenggaman dan dekat.

Aku juga sudah banyak mengatasnamakan sastra demi cinta kita. Baiklah, aku ralat juga; cinta aku yang gila.

Aku selalu gila dengan perasaan mabuk kepayang bagaikan sehabis menelan buku-buku Kahlil Gibran. Seharusnya aku percaya perkataanmu tentang kegilaanku pada sastra lah yang nanti akan menyulitkanku pada akhirnya. Aku pernah berdusta bahwa aku akan selalu mencintaimu tanpa syarat, seperti saat aku sedang menyelam dalam tumpukan buku dan tak kembali bertahun-tahun lamanya, meski sebelumnya telah ku baca semua akibat. Aku pun selalu ingin membuatmu percaya, bahwa dustaku ini akan menjadi nyata hingga habis masanya.

Kau pun pernah memaklumi tingkahku dan melupakan hitunganmu demi belajar kata-kata mutiara bersamaku. Apakah menyenangkan pernah saling melempar celotehan yang sebelumnya bahkan terasa asing bagimu? Katakan, paksaku kala itu.

Atas nama cinta, kita membiarkan fisika dan sastra berbagi cerita. Atas nama cinta, kita mengecewakan mereka dengan hitungan dan perkataan yang seharusnya tak pernah ada. Atas nama cinta, kita mengusik hitungan yang sengaja dipermasalahkan dan bahasan yang awalnya tabu diperbincangkan. Ternyata kita tidak lebih dari sepasang kekasih yang menangis bersama demi mempertahankan kecintaan dan kebutaan kita masing-masing pada fisika dan sastra.

Aku tidak mengapa sudah menjadi yang lalu bagimu. Seperti kau yang tak pernah mengapa pernah melukai hatiku dengan hitunganmu. Setahuku, dari dulu cinta tidak hanya satu, tapi selalu dua, bukan tiga. Cinta tidak untuk diri sendiri, pun tak pantas terbagi. Kalau pun aku harus mencintai fisika yang tidak mencintai sastra sepertiku, pasti bukan dirimu. Kau pecinta fisika yang gagal memahami hitungan matematika dasar kelas satu. Ternyata fisika dan sastra tidak sama dengan kita. Terimakasih sudah mengajari sastra menilai massa benda. Setidaknya, aku pernah mencintaimu. Pernah.

Si Sastra

Hey T, I Miss You!

Kata orang, aku gila karena punya cita-cita keliling dunia. Kata orang, aku bisa buta karena punya keinginan terlalu banyak melihat ke luar sana. Kata orang, aku naif saat aku mulai banyak menulis di atas kertas tentang impianku disana. Tidak kah mereka tahu kalau itu doa? Silakan saja menertawai doa-doaku yang aku lagukan sepanjang hidupku, aku tidak peduli. Silakan saja mencemoohku untuk semua harapan yang terlalu omong kosong kalau menurutmu, aku tidak peduli.

Aku juga ingin keliling Indonesia, tapi aku lebih ingin keliling dunia. Dunia terlihat sangat besar memang, tapi tidak pernah sebesar Bima Sakti, tidak pernah sebesar ribuan galaksi-galaksi. Jadi untuk apa menunggu lagi? Sudah banyak orang yang membuatku iri (sekaligus bersemangat) karena kesempatan mereka yang lebih dulu bepergian kesini-sana. Mereka terlihat bahagia.

Hey T, aku dulu tidak suka padamu. Aku sendiri heran mengapa hampir setiap teman dekatku ingin menginjakkan kaki di tanahmu. Di masa kuliahnya, seorang temanku bahkan mempelajari bahasamu. Aku dulu tidak suka lagu yang diputar adikku dalam bahasamu. Selalu berisik kalau menurutku. Aku dulu tidak suka makananmu, bagiku makanan Italia lebih akan memanjakan lidahku. Setidaknya, pasti lebih asin daripada banyak makananmu yang plain. Aku dulu tidak suka hampir semua tentangmu.

Desember tahun lalu, aku berkesempatan mengunjungimu. Di antara kompetisi yang aku ikuti, entah kenapa Tuhan malah memenangkanmu untukku. Mungkin Tuhan tidak suka caraku tidak menyukaimu, jadi ditamparnya aku. Aku memang harus berjuang lagi di tanahmu, menjadi yang tebaik diantara yang terbaik. Kalimat yang hampir membuatku frustasi tapi entah mengapa aku bisa juga menikmati segala sensasi. Aku dulu berjuang dengan banyak manusia-manusia baru yang terlihat jauh lebih ambisius dariku. Kali ini benar kata orang, jarak antara kamu dan mimpimu hanyalah orang-orang yang lebih ambisius itu. Jadi apapun yang kalian hadapi, berusahalah tanpa lelah, saranku.

Di tanahmu, aku mengenal banyak orang baru. Mereka menjadi teman berdiskusiku, teman bermainku, dan teman bersenang-senangku, pun pesaing untukku kala itu. Ah kamu, kamu sudah mengajariku cara beradaptasi yang baru. Terimakasih.

Di tanahmu, aku melihat dunia yang baru. Masa depan yang dirancang orang-orangmu yang sangat ambisius itu, pun beberapa hal yang ku anggap mainstream yang tak bisa ku temui di sekitarku. Setidaknya, kamu sudah mengajariku terus berpikir tanpa jemu. Terimakasih.

Di tanahmu, aku pernah melihat seorang tuna netra berjalan sendirian di stasiun kereta yang menurutku paling sibuk kala malam. Aku rasa dia tidak terlalu mengeluh dengan begitu bisingnya langkah kaki ratusan manusia yang didengarnya seharian. Hebatnya, dia bisa bertahan di tanahmu yang kata orang kejam. Iya, itu menjadi pelajaran yang ku simpan. Ini juga terimakasih.

Aku sadar, aku menikmati setiap momen yang aku habiskan di tanahmu; berbincang dengan orang-orang baru tentang budaya dari negeri-negeri mereka, berdiskusi tentang sesuatu yang sebelumnya tidak ku pahami sepenuhnya, menghirup udara musim dinginmu jika berada di luar sana, menikmati design kotamu yang rapi dengan futuristik dan budayanya, melihat orang sibuk berjalan lalu-lalang mengejar kereta malam, mencium aroma harum yang kau sajikan di kedai-kedai makananmu yang dulu tidak pernah ku sangka. Aku beruntung pernah dipertemukan Tuhan denganmu. Mungkin aku harus lebih banyak mendengar kata orang sekarang. Tidak tentang impianku yang mereka tentang, tapi tentang kamu dan kamu-kamu lain yang tadinya tidak mau ku dengar dan ku perhitungkan karena kemalasanku mempelajari hal yang terlihat membosankan. Aku janji untuk tidak mengulangi. Pasti.

Di tanahmu, aku menanam impian baru. Mungkin Holland masih menjadi favoritku, tapi kamu... sejauh ini kamu lah yang paling berkesan yang sudah lancang menampar tidak hanya pipiku, tapi pemikiranku. Terimakasih Tokyo. Sepertinya aku sudah meninggalkan sebagian hatiku di tanahmu. Entah lebih karenamu, atau karena orangmu itu. Ah Tokyo, I miss you.. Kalau aku ternyata tidak bisa datang lagi di akhir bulan depan, tetaplah menungguku. Aku akan sangat senang untuk kembali lagi menikmati setiap sajian yang akan kau hidangkan untukku. Semoga Tuhan tetap mengijinkan.

Tiara