DUTCH : Design, Urban, Technology, Culture, Holticulture

When I think about the Netherlands and try to imagine the awesome things there, I found that this country is not only good in just one thing. The Netherlands is one of the successful countries in the world that can survive from many disasters, changing time, and modernism.

Let's draw it into some parts. 

1) Design

The Netherlands is a country of designers. We can see from many architectures in every corner of the country, starting from Amsterdam, Volendam, Rotterdam, etc. This country still keeps its old fashioned architectures when many of the citizens design a modern and unique design and concept for its living home. Dutch design also embodies innovation and creativity; the things to be inspired all over the world. 

Architecture in Amsterdam

2) Urban

Urban living in the Netherlands is rather different than urban living in the other countries in the world. Its capital city, Amsterdam, is the city of cycling. It's like the breathing art to be followed.

Cycling in Amsterdam

3) Technology

Dutch is known for its water technology. In the past, the only place to live in Netherlands were in the East and South area. More than 2/3 mainland of this country was prone to flooding. Dutch then innovated to make windmill and polders. It was the greatest discoveries to save and survive from the disaster they used to face that day. Now, the windmills and polders have been developed to many countries like USA, Belgium, France, etc.

Polder

Kinderdjik (Windmill)

4) Culture

In Netherlands, the culture is their cheese. To say that cheese is synonymous with Alkmaar is something of understatement. It's world famous for its cheese market, which is held every Friday between April and September. To be a country that keeps its culture is another dutch pioneering these days. 

Alkmaar traditional cheese market

5) Holticulture

Who don't know about Tulip? We used to think that Tulip is a flower from Netherlands. Actually, it isn't. Tulip is a flower from Turkey and Iran. So, how can the Netherlands today is known as the Tulip country? Well,  there is the biggest garden flower full of many variety of Tulip in the Netherlands. It's called Keukenhof. By holticulture technology in the Netherlands, now there are so many variety of Tulip. It was only orange, but now.. as far as the tourists who visit Keukenhof can see the garden of rainbow Tulip. Dutch horticultural industry is a global trendsetter supplying market all over the world.

Keukenhof

There are many surprising things in the Netherlands. The Netherlands has been a pioneer from those five sector; in design, urban, technology, culture, and also holticulture. For a developing country like Indonesia, it's not too late to run to be like Netherlands. It's a great refection to developing countries anyway.

references:

http://en.wikipedia.org/

http://www.hollandtrade.com/sector-information/creative-industries/?bstnum=3556
http://www.hollandtrade.com/sector-information/water/

http://www.godutch.com/

Fly me to the Mars

When I was young, there was a lesson that has caught my attention. I was in the 4th grade of elementary school when my teacher talked about the galaxy. Our galaxy, named Bima Sakti, is the result of a Big Bang tragedy million years ago. As all the things about space has turned to be my favorite, I started to study and remember as much as I’ve read in the books about it. I know about Mercury that will have -200°C in the night, or Jupiter; the biggest planet in the galaxy. From all space objects in this galaxy, Earth is the only planet to be lived for living creature because it has water and oxygen.

Galaxy

There are many researches about space. The developed countries like USA, Russia, EU, and Japan have tried to created technology to know the secret of the universe. The space exploration projects are developed years by years. It’s Apollo 11 that brought Neil Amstrong to the Moon in 20 July 1969. 

Neil Amstrong in the Moon

After the first step of human in the Moon, we constantly develop the technology to answer our curiousity. Human want to land their ship not only in the Moon. Carl Sagan is a scientist who made the Viking Lander probes which would land on Mars. 

Carl Sagan and this project, Viking Lander

Fifteen years after Carl Sagan passed away in 1996, a company from the Netherlands came to answer Carl’s-and probably many people-question about living in the Mars. Is it possible to move and live in the Red planet?

This company, named Mars One, has a mission to establish a human settlement on the planet Mars in 2023. Mars One was built in 2011 by Bas Lansdorp, an enterpreneur from Netherlands with his passion to science. He received support from scientists, engineers, businessmen and –women and aeropace companies from all over the world. 

Road Map of Mars One from 2013 - 2025

Marieke Wagensvel, a communication specialist of Mars One who graduated from Utrecht University said “The technology to travel to Mars and build a base are already available. We should not wait for politicians to decide if we want to go to Mars, we should look at ourselves and see what we can do to make it possible.”

Design Mars One for human settlement in 2023

This project is a one way travel to Mars. In 2013, there is a selection to choose  40 people who will be traveled to Mars in 2023 and four astronauts who will be traveled  there to prepare the human settlement on the Mars in 2014. They will send more astronauts per two years. The application was opened last April and will be end this June. There are more than 78.000 applications to this project. That's a huge number!

So, are you interested in applying to be the one who live in the Mars?

After all, the Netherlands is trying to show us their potential talent not just to be a pioneer in holticulture or creative industries, but also in the aerospace technology. Ten years from now, when we talk to Dutchmen, we will probably say “Hey, fly me to the Mars.”

references:

http://en.wikipedia.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_11
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viking_Lander#Viking_landers

http://applicants.mars-one.com/

http://www.godutch.com/

http://www.tempo.co/read/news/2013/04/22/061474940/Berminat-Tiket-untuk-Tinggal-di-Mars-Mulai-Dijual

Hujan

Aku adalah hujan yang dijatuhkan Tuhan dalam sosok yang mereka sebut gerimis. Diharapkannya aku menjadi rintik yang tahu diri, kapan harus menangis, kapan harus berlaku sadis. Tidak pernah ditengoknya aku di tanah surga kering yang kini telah basah olehku ini. Dibiarkannya saja aku berlaku mengikuti naluriku, logikaku, egoku, nafsuku, tanpa ragu.

Aku adalah hujan yang diharap-harapkan datang saat matahari dan manusia sama-sama berlaku terlalu naif. Mereka pikir mereka lah yang berhak mengatur rintikku yang tak kunjung datang. Tidakkah mereka tahu kalau aku tidak pernah bosan melihat rengekan?

Aku adalah hujan yang datang kepagian. Tidak pernah aku menutup telingaku meski banyak diantara mereka mengutukku tak jemu. Tidak sedikitpun aku menyesal telah diturunkan Tuhan.

Aku adalah hujan yang selalu engkau perhatikan dari jendela kamarmu. Kau nikmati setiap tetes rintikku dari kejauhan. Kau pandang aku berjam-jam tanpa mengeluh seperti manusia kebanyakan. Kau ciumi wangi tanah basah yang telah aku pesonakan. Hanya enggan kau sentuh karena derasnya rintik yang telah kutarikan.

Aku adalah hujan yang mereka sebut bandang. Berkawan dengan kesombongan. Caci aku, silakan. Bukan salahku jika merusakkan rumah dan tanaman di pekarangan. Ingat dulu siapa yang membuang berkotak-kotak kenangan di pinggir jalan.

Aku adalah hujan yang mengalir di pelupuk matamu, datang karena penyesalan. Aku tidak membencimu, hanya tidak mau lagi mengacuhkanmu tanpa segan. Aku jahat? Memang.

Aku adalah hujan. Yang lebih suka menangis dalam diam.

Half-day in Jakarta

Have you ever imagined to visit Jakarta, the famous capital very crowded  city in Indonesia, less than 24 hours? If you are a student who lives in a small city like me, the answer is probably nooo. But something’s different and the story changed last year. I won a business report writing competition by famous Japan companies that gave me a chance to attend the final contest in Japan. (Whatta lucky me!) It means I need a visa before my departure, in the middle of December. For Indonesian, we can apply Japan visa in the Japan embassy that are located in some big cities in Indonesia like Medan, Jakarta, Surabaya, Makassar, and Denpasar. And for me as Yogyakartan, I need to apply my visa in Jakarta. The process of making visa is about four days office hours. I made a business visa for temporary visit. It can be used for three months and maximum days of visit is 15 days. All my needs  were already prepared by the committee. I just needed to print out my invitation and flight ticket, complete my data in registration form, and meet the committee in Jakarta to give me the rest, like hotel, company, and guarantor data. If you want to apply Japan visa, you can check here.

I never come to Jakarta by train and without parents, it’s kinda scared me somehow. Before came there, I asked the committee to give me contact number of other participant from Yogyakarta who also needs to make Japan visa in Jakarta. His name is Azhar. He helped me to look for the train tickets and complete the registration form. It was Monday afternoon, and we arranged meeting in the railway station at 8 pm. Actually my train was at 9 pm, and I was already in the station since 7.30 pm. My parents was still in my grandpa’s house, so I was alone. After half hour waiting, my friend came with his parents, his gf, small suitcase and also a fully back pack. It’s kinda awkward because I only brought my back pack. Hahaha :|

The journey was about 8 hours something. We arrived in Gambir railway station at about 4 am. Then we looked for a rest room  and mosque to pray. We spent at least an hour to have very early breakfast in Hoka-hoka bento. Arghh, I hate ebi katsu! The meeting with Mr. Edo, the committee of the company was in McDonals Sarinah. We chose to go there by busway. Actually that’s my idea. Just want to see the different between TransJogja and TransJakarta. Anyway, Gambir is not like what I imagine, not that bad. At least, if you want to transfer from Gambir to Soetta airport, you don’t need to be too confuse. You can use taxi or Damri bus (about 25.000-35.000 IDR). It’s also near Monas, and harmony busway station. But still, just be careful to always pay attention in your bag.

Busway in Jakarta is bigger than in Jogja and it has its line. The busway that drove us to Sarinah is a female driver. I never meet female busway driver in my city. Everyone seemed to hurry that morning. There were beautiful ladies officer, students, tidy workers, etc. Luckily, we only needed less than 30 minutes to Sarinah. We’re going to upstair and ordered drinks, going to rest room to change clothes, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Hahaha, the time of waiting always seems longer than it’s supposed to be, doesn’t it?

Mr Edo is a committee who helped the participants to prepare all things they need. He has graduated from Waseda Univ and now became a freelancer for Japanese companies when they wanted to hold an event in Indonesia. He came at about 9 am then explained us many things we should know. Me and my friend then walked to Japan embassy, leaving our bags with Mr Edo. It’s only took 10 minutes walk, so close. It’s not like what I’ve ever imagined to apply for Japan visa, not that difficult. We just need to explain our purpose to go, leave the documents, and keep the resi number. The visa will be done in Friday. I asked the officer if only my friend can take my passport. She said that’s okay, as long as the resi number is brought by my friend. The problem solved! I don’t need to come back on Friday, leaving my campus and my students to take the passport. Really thank to my friend for that!

We were going back to McD Sarinah, having chit-chat with Mr. Edo and waiting for the lunch time. Me and my friend went to FX mall, in Fish and Co. He had an appointment with his friend there. Her name is Mizuo-san, a Japanese girl who works in Japan embassy. She can also speak Indonesian, but never leaves her dialect. Japanese are awesome. Most of Japanese I’ve ever met never leave their dialect.

After having lunch with Mizuo-san, my mom called me and ask me to visit one of her friend in Pancoran. My friend escorted me to the nearest busway station, he would come back to Sarinah and waited his cousin to pick him up. He’d stay there for a week. And my solo trip began! Hahaha, sorry kinda hyperbolic :p

In the busway station, I ask a man how to get to Bidakara building in Pancoran. He expalined me blablablabla, because kinda confuse I just took the very beginning busway that came. It was a grey busway. The condectur told me to stop in Pluit to transfer to another busway. I was so lazy to be confused by busway line, so I preferd to take a taxi. Hahaha I only need to pay 8800 IDR. So cheap! It means I only spent less than 15.000 IDR from Sarinah to Pancoran. In Bidakara building, I met Mr. Heru. He worked for big telecommunication company in Indonesia and Pancasila Univ as a lecturer. We talked a lot about the people and condition of Jakartan, also my visa application. He supposed to escort me to Pasar Senen railway station at about 6 pm. Unfortunately he needed to accompany lord mayor that time. He asked me to take a taxi. It started to drizzle, and I was nearly hopeless to get a taxi. My train would depart at 7.30 p.m, and it was 6.30 pm I still looked for a transportation to get there. Finally I gave up and walked to the who we called ‘ojek motor’ (that I ignored before), and started to bargain the cost to go to Pasar Senen. I needed to pay 40.000 IDR. The man who escorted me to the railway station was friendly. He still tried to make me not to be panic even when we trapped in the traffic jam on the way to the station. At least that was a new experience, lol.

I arrived in Pasar Senen railway station and waited to my train. It was soo messy railway station. There are a lot of people, talking in the high volume (if we can’t say shouting), sitting on the floor, etc. Well, it is a railway station for economy and business class. I have a business train ticket (it was only 140.000 IDR). It’s more economical absolutely. And the point is, I want to feel how to travel with the business train. I’ll never regret this experience. I had a chit chat with an old woman who wanted to go to Jogja by economy train (35.000 IDR, see? Sooo cheap!)

When the train started to walk, it was my time for sightseeing outside the window. I saw a very bad view, that some family live under the fly over, build their home there. I have no idea why they chose to stay in that condition. If they are people from outside Jakarta, it’s better for them to come back to their village, their small town, to start a new life, to live better. Unemployment and poverty in Indonesia is so bad problem but it’s still can be repaired somehow. I know, there are a lot of arguments that can break my point of view. Okay let’s move.. Overall, I only spent half day in Jakarta. It was so yah, unpredictable day. My trip to Jakarta that time really gave me something, new experience, new friend, new knowledge, and new thought. But it was soo tiring! No good sleep in the business train! Every time the train stopped in the railway station along the journey, there were many merchantmen asked the passengers to buy their stuffs or food. Hahahaha whatta day.

See you for another half-day trip, hey Jakarta!

(Not to be) Fake or Nothing at All

Be careful with your words. Once it sounds cynical, it will make two perspektives; hiding or showing the true you.

As I remember, I tweeted those words because at that time, I was in very bad mood and really need to share and talk with someone. Lucky I live in an era where twitter has been found by Jack and his friends. Lucky I live in an era where I don’t need to be so damn bored all the time for having nothing to do.

One of my friends retweeted and replied that with only four words “showing the true you”. Am I a cynical person? Oh yes I am, for heaven’s sake. People don’t even know what I’ve faced for my more than twenty years for being such a cynical person like this. Have you ever felt like it’s always you to be blamed for many things you’ve never done? Have you ever felt like it’s always you who are betrayed by the person you’ve believed? Have you ever felt the worst feeling you’ve ever imagined in your life? Don’t ask me, you’ll never understand.

As I said, a ‘cynical’ form is just a talent from many whatsoever things. Let’s call it as a shell. When people think that they are too weak to face this cruel world, they unconsciously make a shell as a protection to avoid the bad things that maybe happen. Ironically, they don’t even know it will save their life or make it worse. Too bad? Yes, but it truly happen. When people have faced the bad things in their past, they unconsciously make a shell too. Time will heal the wounds, but there’s always scar left behind. Traumatic feeling and too much fear.

Some people may be good enough in hiding something from someone somehow. But have you ever thought the reason why? Some people are too scared to be known for their weakness. Some people are too scared to be laughed at the things they have known. Some people are too scared to be broken somehow. Some people are sometimes too blind to know there are always somebody care.

It’s not about how good you are in measuring and judging people around you. It’s not about how good you will be for having such a honest thought to be shared to those whom you think about. People are hiding the true them because some reasons you might never think before.. If hiding the true them is always called as fake thing, so what do you think this life should be?

Some people probably hold back their tears and pretending to be okay, just to give themselves such a belief that everything will be (really) okay somehow. Some people are pretending to be fine all the time just to hide their sadness. Some people probably say, “I’m so f*cking happy” when their hearts keep telling such words like “Frankly, I’m so faking happy..” Bittersweet truth.

Overall, (for me) fake can be considered as two things again; the bad and the good one. It will be good as you know its limitation and you know exactly why you are acting that fake, as long as it will never hurt people around you. It will be bad if you use it to show how nice you are to somebody else when you’re not.

For some reasons, I keep talking to myself that this life is not always about me, me, and me. But sometimes I forget to manage the thoughts in my head in the way I live, like how I forget to count my blessings when I’m in despair and doubts. When I asked my friends about the way he chooses his way of living; keep pretending he doesn’t know (about the fake around him) or go acting as fake as them, he said something that finally opened my eyes.

“I’ve spent my last year faking, won't do it for the up comings. At least I know what to say on faking person, like this moment.”

Well, I'm probably the best faking person, ever. But I still thought that he forgot to answer my truly question. Thank you for reminding me anyway.. Actually I haven’t known exactly whether he thought I’m one of that faking people or it's just the words for our conversation before. It’s kinda hurting to know how bad you look like to somebody else. I won’t pretending I don’t care, at least I’m not that fake.

In the end.. this life is still about (not to be) fake or nothing at all, isn’t it?

Book: The History of Love by Nicole Krauss

Kadang aku suka berkunjung sendirian ke perpustakaan kota, tanpa tujuan. Atau lebih tepatnya, hanya sekedar untuk menghabiskan waktu. Aku memang tidak mempunyai banyak waktu, tapi aku tidak mau terlalu sering membuangnya dengan kegiatan yang itu-itu. Suatu siang, aku bisa duduk sendirian hampir dua jam di bangku taman perpustakaan kota hanya dengan layar laptop di depanku, atau aku bisa duduk di antara banyak orang yang tidak aku kenal di dalam ruang perpustakaan kota yang sempit demi membaca buku psikologi manusia yang tidak terlalu mudah aku mengerti. Di suatu siang yang lain, aku akan mampir ke perpustakaan kota lalu memilih dan meminjam buku sastra apa saja dengan tergesa.

Hari itu aku meminjam dua buku, The old man and the sea oleh Ernest Hemingway dan The History of Love oleh Nicole Krauss. Aku memang orang sastra, lebih tepatnya orang yang berkuliah di jurusan sastra, tapi aku baru mengenal Ernest Hemingway semenjak aku menonton film tahun 2011 berjudul Midnight in Paris. Sebuah film tentang seorang penulis dan kerap terjebak di masa-masa kejayaan sasrawan di Paris. Mungkin aku akan membahasnya lain kali.

Tentang buku kedua, sebenarnya aku hanya asal saja. Aku tidak pernah mendengar nama Nicole Krauss sebelumnya. Awalnya aku hanya tertarik pada dua hal. Di sampul buku itu, tertulis shortlisted by Richard&Judy’s British Book awards 2006. Yang kedua, judul buku yang diketik dengan huruf Times New Roman yang mungkin bagi kebanyakan orang terlihat membosankan. Menurutku, kalau buku Nicole Krauss ini sampai masuk dalam nominasi British Book awards dan lagi di dalamnya memuat cerita tentang sesuatu yang belum juga mampu aku pahami, mungkin saja menarik.

Sesampainya di rumah, aku hanya membaca sinopsis di sampul belakang dan meletakkannya di meja belajar. Butuh waktu seminggu untuk mendiamkannya sebelum aku mulai meneliti buku ini. Bab pertama, tentang seorang lelaki tua bernama Leopold Gursky. Krauss menggunakan sudut pandang orang pertama untuk memulai ceritanya. Menempatkan kita di posisi si lelaki tua, yang memceritakan suatu masa dimana dia mencintai seorang wanita yang akhirnya terpisah saat si wanita pergi ke Amerika. Apa yang dilihat dan dirasakannya dahulu, dan apa yang dilihat dan dirasakannya sekarang. Sebuah cerita dengan alur maju-mundur yang dikemas dengan bahasa yang khas. Gursky menyusul ke Amerika dan akhirnya kecewa dengan kenyataan bahwa wanitanya sudah menikah dengan seorang pria lain belum lama setelah wanita itu melahirkan seorang anak laki-laki, anak Gursky. Selama lima tahun, Gursky yang terpaksa bersembunyi di hutan, memang dikabarkan sudah meninggal pada pembantaian orang-orang Yahudi di Polandia oleh Nazi. Sebuah cerita pahit yang dibungkus cantik dengan sejarah perang masa lalu. Tidak sedikit potongan sejarah yang Krauss ceritakan di novel ini, lebih-lebih masa perang dunia.

Bab kedua masih menggunakan sudut pandang orang pertama, tapi kali ini bukan Gursky, melainkan seorang anak hampir lima belas tahun bernama Alma. Sewaktu Alma lahir, oleh ibunya ia diberi nama menurut nama setiap gadis di buku pemberian ayahnya pada ibunya, judulnya The History of Love. Ayanhnya sudah meninggal. Ibunya adalah seorang wanita Inggris pintar yang telah memilih meninggalkan kuliahnya di Oxford demi hidup di Amerika dengan pria Israel yang dicintainya. Alma kini hanya tinggal dengan ibunya yang sekali-kali menerjemahkan buku, dan seorang adik laki-laki yang percaya bahwa dirinya adalah seorang Mesias.

Bab ketiga tentang seorang Zvi Littinoff, seseorang yang dipercaya telah mengarang buku The History of Love dalam bahasa Spanyol. Krauss kali ini meggunakan sudut pandang orang ketiga serba tahu. Menceritakan tentang bagaimana keseharian Zvi yang tidak pernah diketahui orang lain, bahkan istrinya sendiri. Zvi tinggal di Chili, dimana Zvi melarikan diri dari kota kelahirannya dan akhirnya bertemu wanita yang menjadi istrinya, Rosa.

Begitulah Krauss menulis, menggunakan tiga sudut yang berbeda. Pola yang sama diulang pada bab-bab seterusnya, meski Krauss sendiri tidak menamainya dengan bab, melainkan memberi judul setiap bab barunya. Misalnya, pada bab kelima dengan Alma sebagai aku, berjudul My father’s Camp. Pada bab-bab dimana Alma sebagai ‘aku’, Krauss tidak menulis sebuah cerita dengan alur maju-mundur seperti di bab-bab Leopold Gursky sebagai ‘aku’. Krauss hanya menulis poin-poin kemudian menjelaskannya dalam cerita-cerita singkat yang akan membuat kita berimajinasi sendiri tentang runtutan ceritanya sesuai yang kita kira.

Di setiap lembar, jika kita sabar, kita akan terus penasaran membalik halaman demi halamannya. Aku sendiri selesai membaca novel ini hanya dalam dua hari; membaca sampai tertidur di suatu malam dan meneruskannya dari siang keesokan harinya hingga larut malam, hingga lupa makan. Aku sendiri tipikal orang yang tidak suka mencuri-curi membaca lembar-lembar belakang saat membaca novel, dan karena novel ini sangat menarik (bagiku), aku tidak bisa berhenti membaca lanjutan ceritanya, bab demi bab.

Di setiap bab, kita akan menemukan fakta yang baru, yang mengajak kita menerka-nerka masa lalu para tokoh ceritanya. Misalnya, tentang nama wanita yang dicintai Leopold Gursky yan ternyata juga bernama Alma, atau tentang naskah yang ditulis Gurski dalam bahasa Yiddish yang telah hilang puluhan tahun lalu yang kembali lagi ke tangannya dalam bahasa Inggris. Ataupun tentang siapa sebenarnya Zvi dan bagaimana novel berbahasa Spanyol The History of Love bisa berada di tangan Charlotte Singer, ibu Alma yang akhirnya menginspirasinya.

Pada akhirnya, cerita ini memang tidak terlalu menjelaskan dengan gamblang tentang sejarah cinta maupun penciptaannya (seperti yang sebelumnya terbayangkan), tetapi di balik cerita kompleks tentang kehidupan perang hingga ke modern para imigran, penulis, penerjemah, bahkan anak kecil yangada di dalam novel ini dapat dikatakan sebagai tokoh-tokoh yang hidup. Krauss seolah memberi mereka jiwa, yang tidak hanya mentranfer cerita dan ide-ide yang termuat dalam alurnya, tetapi juga makna dibalik bahasanya. Seperti sebuah judul naskah Leopold Gursky yang dikirimkan kepada anaknya Isaac Moritz yang pada novel ini merupakan seorang penulis yang akhirnya meninggal di usianya yang ke lima puluh; Words for Everything untuk menggantikan Launghing & Crying & Writing & Waiting.

*Novel The History of Love ini adalah novel terbitan tahun 2005 dan ternyata telah diterjemahkan ke lebih dari dua puluh lima bahasa. Penulisnya, Nicole Krauss yang kini sudah berusia sekitar 39 tahun masih tinggal di Brooklyn, New York. Novel pertamanya, Man Walks into a Room, dinominasikan untuk Los Angeles Times Book Award.

**ditulis di sela waktu pembuatan presentasi sidang kelulusan, bukan karena sangat bosan, tetapi sangat ingin menuliskan yang melayang-layang di kepala. Sebuah bentuk kekaguman pada seorang penulis yang baru dikenal. (aduh, hiperbolanya keluar!)

Parents

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

I'm not gonna make a touchy letter I guess. Well, you know that I have a syndrome called I-have-no-idea-to-show-how-much-I-love-you. 

Sometimes I hate you both for the things you've done, the things you've said, and the things you've shown to me. But the more I (try to) hate you, the more I realize that I do love you. It's just too complicated to be explained. Now I'm not going to blame you both for many things I should face, not anymore.

I'm sorry for every fault you both thought I've done. I'm sorry for screwed up many things. I'm sorry for my egoism, my careless, my arrogance, and everything..

Dear Mom, thank you for trusting me, forgiving me, and always be the best for me. You know, I just want to make you happy.

Dear Dad, thank you for giving me chances to do many things in my way though you're not always supporting me. You know, I just want to make you proud of me.

Promise me, you will always give me those never failing smiles even when I don't see. You both, I love you.

your (always little) girl